Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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