just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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