Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
