Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
