Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
