i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
whose ass print is on the piano?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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