I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
