he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
