shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
