Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
