You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize