I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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