i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
