dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
