I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
