This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
