Sober January is a disaster.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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