im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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