do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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