I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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