HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
