I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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