question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
