Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
