fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
