Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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(678): View more from Georgia

He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

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(727): View more from Florida

what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway

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(615): View more from Tennessee

all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.

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(702): View more from Nevada

His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.

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(206): View more from Washington

Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.

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(613): View more from Ontario

LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE

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(802): View more from Vermont

Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife

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