I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
