He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
