Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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