We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I fill condoms, not promises.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize