Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
