Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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