I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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