I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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