I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
