I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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