You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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