Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
