handjob tips. give me some.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
