I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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