Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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