Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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