he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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