I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
foreskin is a definite game changer
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
