it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
