I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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