last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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