Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
