I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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