But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
