I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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