And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
