CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
