Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
