My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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