Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize