I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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