If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
