Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
