You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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