My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize