If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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