what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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