Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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