she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
