I wish i was in the wii world.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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