my phone needs a breathalizer
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i dont even know how to be here
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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