i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
