One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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