it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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