And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
only if we run a train.
done.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
