is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
